I have 3 kids - shortly to be aged 13, 14 and 15. They each have their own room and share their own bathroom. I am on my own and attend university full time and work part time (usually when kids are at school). Although I am always asking for help they do not - their rooms are almost always complete pig stys and they just seem to create mess. I am so fed up. I think they should be helping a lot more - what do you think? If you agree with me how can I get them to do so - I have withdrawn almost all their privileges already and they get no pocket money unless they earn it.
Clean laundry outside their rooms?? They are old enough to do their laundry and put it away. A friend of mine got tired of the chaos and made a rule. If you leave it in the common living areas for three days...It is MINE and I toss it. No one believed her until: 'my favorite shirt is gone..Mom?'
'where did you leave it?'
'On the back of the couch....ooohh, nooo you didn't... MY favorite shirt!"
She did. Had to go through this with both her daughters and her son. But they stopped using the living areas as dropping stations for both clothes and school back packs, shoes, etc.
Imagine telling your teachers you don't have your term paper because you left it in your backpack and your Mom threw the pack away because you did not take it to your room...Or losing your track shoes because Mom threw ONE away. Did not take long to get their attention. Real tears were shed in the learning period though.
Like everyone else, they should clean up after their own messes. If they make a mess, they should clean it. I think that's what parents should teach their kids as I see a lot of parents use their kids as personal maids(not saying this is your case) and that, IMO, is not right. Nothing wrong with teaching them how to clean up, but also they shouldn't be used as personal maids to clean up even the parents' messes.
They absolutely should be helping out around the house. Everyone can contribute evenly in a family. Set up a chart of all the household chores on a weekly or daily basis. Use a visual aid as a reminder, like a poster or a dry erase board. Assign everyone a fair share of the work, including yourself. Give the kids a specific day when they are responsible for a meal. What is it your kids are doing instead of housework? If they are playing video games or watching tv, take away those extra distractions by locking tvs up in your bedroom or your car or at a relatives until they learn some balance. If they are going to friend's, call the parents and discuss that you would prefer it if your kids were at home when you weren't so they won't let them over.
Be sure to stick to your rules. Enrolling kids in structured extra curricular activities often helps them develop responsible habits. Think team sports or martial arts.
good luck.
you should get them to help around the house
Wow, I don't do anything around the house. I'm 16 by the way but if it was your case yes, your kids should do more chores around the house. Don't be afraid to be strict.
When it comes to their bedrooms and bathroom, just shut the door firmly and leave it shut. If they want to live in squalor then that's their problem. Leave their clean laundry outside their bedroom doors and just don't go in there. Public area however are a different matter, Spend the money that you would give them in pocket money on a cleaner to come in once a week, it's not as expensive as you might think if they only come in for a couple of hours.
Let them keep their rooms how they want to, but make them clean their bathroom and give them all chores to do in the house.
First congratulations on going to university as well as working.You have a full plate.Your children are old enough to take on the responsibility of keeping their rooms clean as well as their bathroom. .Be firm with your kids and say that they will be expected to clean their rooms, they don't have to be perfect but tidy is ok.Remain firm and do not clean up after them .Let them know that effective immediately that you are on strike .Let them know since they don't respect you or their home you will no longer be at their beck and call.You will no longer cook their meals, do their laundry or the multitude of other things you do for them on a daily basis.Take away all privileges,including electronics.If they have a cell phone and you pay the bill cancel the plan.Do not give them money for anything unless they have earned it.If they want something special they can earn money outside of the home with a paper route or part time job. I'm sorry to say your children sound ungrateful and they take you for granted.Is their father involved in their life at all.Try to focus on your studies which is your ticket to a better future for both your children and yourself.Close the doors to their rooms.If they want to live in filth,so be it, nothing says you have to look at it.When they finally get sick of it ,let them clean it up them self.Since these kids aren't working part time to earn extra money , they can't afford their selfish attitude.
Uh, I don't know what's wrong with your kids. I used to make dinner every night and would help out around the house and with my little sister.
LOL, you could do what my parents did when I had issues with slamming doors (we had a drafty house) - they took the doors to my bedroom off the hinges. I made sure to close those doors quietly after that.
I'm sorry I don't really have an answer, I just wanted to say I relate to you, But my daughter is 23 and is still leaving her stuff everywhere - I can hardly get in her room, not that I even try to tidy it, Cause it's a disaster. Lately I feel like I'm going nuts , cause she doesn't help out at all. She had moved out with her boyfriend, then they had an argument and she's moved back home with all her things, which has our cupboards etc bursting at the seams. As I say , sorry for not giving you a proper answer, just wanted to let off steam, I guess.
Three teenagers, wow, this may be a hard to handle situation, but you can handle it. They should clean there own room at least once a week, without getting payed because it is there room, you can reward them with other stuff besides money for doing their own room. They should take turns doing the bathroom, they should get 3 bucks every time they do that, and they should wipe toilets, clean mirrors and sweep/mop if needed. It may seem like your being touch on them, but thats what I have to do, and I'm only 13. And they should take turns cleaning the kitchen. They should contribute more, and you have to get them to understand your position, they may feel overwhelmed with school which is understandable but when you see them bored, then get in cleaning action:)
Give them each a belt stand them in a circle and let them beat the crap out of each other. No seriously, I have three kids also and they know not to tick me off. and one is only two. No but if you will get them to take more responability to looking after each other then you will be suprised by the outcome. Have one person in charge for one month when you are not there. the other two have got to listen to the one that is in charge. Give them a list let them know that it will really help you out if these things get done.You will notice that the youngest will most likely have the biggest problem with the other two but you will be suprised at the results
be the boss roundhouse kick them in the face
I am around their ages, and me and my sister take turns on different chores. Like one day I do the dishes, we take turns vacuuming and dusting. And if we don't do our chores that week, we don't get our allowance. This system has worked well for us for several years, and it has really helped our parents out. I agree they should have to do chores. I think that they are old enough to clean up their own messes, you are not their maid. Good luck with university and everything.
if they don't clean their room, take a way that is so precious to them or don't let them go to a friend's house for a week, or on msn, or something that's really important to them or give the a few dollars if they clean up their room and help you with the chores.
good luck
--Kavii
Keep their bathroom clean
Help out with Kitchen Chores
Take out the trash.
Keep their rooms clean
Pick up the den
I've been doing these kinds of chores since i was 10.
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